Let's Talk Toddlers (5/6) Page

9/15/2014

The Discussion Board is a tool for sharing thoughts and ideas about class materials.

Answer these questions for scenario below. Feel free to read other students responses, and elaborate or respond to previous posts.

Why might the child(ren) act this way?
What would you suggest?
How could this concept be explained?

Toddler Scenario

You have been working with toddlers at the Stay-and-Play Child Care Center for over a year and love their energy and curiosity! A new teacher assistant is subbing with you and tells two toddlers struggling over a toy phone to “share nicely” which just escalates the fighting. She finally removes the toy and tells them no one can have it if they don’t share. The toddlers are now both crying and whining for the phone and the rest of the class is starting to as well. The sub tells you that she is used to kindergartners and doesn't know what to do with toddlers.

40 Comments

ashley

12/12/2017 05:23:25 pm

they don't understand sharing
either explain 5 minutes then we share or find another toy for one of them. explain that the toys belong to daycare and everyone geta a turn to play with them.

Esther

12/17/2017 04:04:25 pm

They don't quite understand the concept of sharing and they may also not understand what "share nicely" means, toddlers have to be shown visually while talking to them. You could tell the sub to sit with the children and help them take turns "talking" on the toy phone to show them how to share the toy.

Margaret Laier

12/17/2017 07:43:35 pm

1) The toddlers are acting this way because they do not understand the concept of sharing unless a teacher takes the time the walk them through it and offer praise when done well.
2) I would suggest that next time the teacher give the toy back to the child who had it first and tell the other child they need to wait their turn (easier to understand then the concept of "sharing"). I would use re-direction to entertain the other child while they are waiting for their turn.
3) I would explain to the sub that toddlers can't be expected to "share" on verbal cues alone, as they are still learning how to do it and what it means.

Brittany

12/18/2017 11:29:08 am

at this age toddlers are still learning how to share and take things from other kids when they want it. i would redirect the child trying to take the toy to another activity in hopes to calm the situation. Explaining to the sub that children at this age are still learning how to share and that redirecting the child and saying "we need to share, its not your turn, but here is this toy" can help develop the skills they need to learn how to share.

Taylor Sweigard

12/19/2017 01:17:01 pm

1. The children are acting this way because they may not understand another child's feelings or do not have the communication skills to express their feelings and wants.

2. I would suggest providing more than one play phone so that they are not forced to share. Or providing a distraction for one of the children.

3. I would explain to the other teacher that a child this age does not have the cognitive ability to understand the feelings of another child or the self awareness to understand their toy is not an extension of them.

Laura

12/24/2017 04:25:02 pm

Children are developing their identity of self and others in the toddler years. They view toys and objects in their possession and extensions of themselves and thus, do not understand the concept of sharing. To them, sharing is taking away a part of their developing identity. The sub did not respect or understand the toddlers' view point in this scenario. By taking away the phone, she did not let them express their opinion or practice working out the social problem which would cause them to escalate their feelings of not having control. I would suggest that the toddler who originally had the phone keep using it and have the other toddler ask him for a turn when he was done using it and then redirect that child to another fun activity which would engage them and distract them.

OLIVIA

12/26/2017 06:29:19 pm

1. toddlers dont understand each other peoples feeling or how to share something.
2.maybe find another phone, sit with them and have them take turns and teacher play with them too, or have them play with something else
3.the other teacher isn't use to working with toddlers so she doesn't understand this age group and how they function

Dawn Mead

12/27/2017 02:34:15 pm

Toddlers don't understand the concept of sharing
Suggest another similar toy
Explain to the sub that toddlers don't get the sharing concept and she should have redirected the other child.

Darcy

12/27/2017 09:35:57 pm

The toddlers are acting this way because they don't understand the meaning of sharing. I would suggest to the sub that instead of taking the toy from the two toddlers that are fighting over to find another toy just like it so they can play with it together. The concept is to teach sharing.

Bethany

12/28/2017 10:18:37 am

Toddlers do not understand the concept of sharing. They want things their way and are not yet ready to understand others emotions. I would suggest redirecting the child taking the phone to another toy and reminding them it's not nice to take things from friends.

Kim

12/28/2017 02:00:50 pm

They don't understand the concept of sharing yet. I would suggest to the sub to find a similar toy for the other child so they can both have one. The concept is to start teaching them about sharing

Tatyana Medvedskaya

12/29/2017 06:25:45 pm

Toddlers do not fully understand what it means to share and they believe the toy is a part of them. Something I would do is either encourage them to share, or encourage one of them to find a different toy to play with. I would explain this concept as the teacher does not have the experience and understanding of toddlers. Using distraction and talking with the toddler to try and understand their feelings is important. Figure out why the toddler is crying and try to redirect them to something else so that the whole class does not start to cry.

Robyn

12/29/2017 09:53:15 pm

Toddlers haven't fully grasped sharing yet and so the subs suggestion was not helpful to them. I would suggest, in the future, getting down on their level and explaining how they could take turns playing with the phone, and then demonstrating for them. I would explain that toddlers are just learning the concept of sharing and need help figuring out how to share and get what they want at the same time

cynthia godinez

1/23/2018 06:58:22 pm

Toddlers have a very hard time sharing especially a toy they love. I would suggest for the sub to model to them how to share and explain to the children about sharing. Children don't really understand the concept of sharing, teachers can model the sharing to see if it helps.

Rachel

1/29/2018 10:20:05 pm

Sharing is not a learned skill, rather it is a skill that develops as the child matures. We can not expect a child to do something they are not yet developmentally ready to do. I would suggest letting the child who started with the phone keep it and find another phone or interesting object in the heat of the moment. It is wonderful to model sharing with children but only when the waters are calm. I would explain to the sub that toddlers see the things they are playing with as extensions of themselves and therefore are not likely to share well. However they are gleefully distractible which is often the best choice on the topic of sharing.

Brian link

3/3/2018 09:35:58 am

Children begin sharing at different ages, In this daycares case, some will try to take over something that someone has already been playing with, the provider needs to explain to the child that someone was already playing with that toy and it would be nice if they would wait their turn to play with it. Redirect them to another toy to get them interested in it. Explain to the child that they will not always get their way, and explain what patience is.

danielle

3/9/2018 03:57:04 pm

The children might be acting this way because they are in an egocentric stage and think everything they have is theirs. They also dont quite understand the concept of sharing. I would suggest having multiple phones in the classroom to try and prevent this from happening, but also distraction works wonders. (look at this plane outside!)

Bona Zhang

3/22/2018 05:12:47 pm

Teach the children how to share are what I do for each time the new child come in our daycare. Child don't know share because usually at home all the toys are belong to him. So, I would suggest have more than one the same toy or tell them, they can take turns.

Mandy

4/4/2018 09:30:03 pm

1. The children are acting that way because they don't understand sharing and think that wanting something means it belongs to them and so only understand that they wanted to play with the phone.
2. Hopefully our class has more than one phone so they can each play with one. My suggestion would be to allow the child who had the phone first to continue playing with it and find another phone for the other child or even a different toy if there were no more phones.
3. I would keep explanations simple, I would tell the substitute teacher that they don't understand sharing yet and the toddlers feel safer when toys are not forced away from them to be given to another or taken away entirely and that they will develop sharing skills as they mature.

Tanya Beirne

4/19/2018 05:28:02 pm

The children are acting this way because they are developmentally unable to understand the concept of sharing. They feel very strongly that this toy belongs to them and they are not aware of how their actions can have an effect on other children.

Hopefully we had multiples of this toy so that i could show them both that we have another one. If we didn't have a duplicate i would probably suggest that we fill the sensory tub with water or something new and invite both children over to play with me. Using redirection and something calming

I would explain to the sub that this isnt an appropriate expectation to have of this age and that redirection usually works better

susan perkins

4/29/2018 10:59:23 am

I would explain to the sub that toddlers don't have the verbal comprehension of a kindergartener. I would tell her she should model the behavior she wants them to use.. She could use a timer and set it for three minutes, tell the kids when it dings we let our friend play then when it dings again its your turn.

Jennifer

6/19/2018 05:53:38 pm

Toddlers do not understand sharing yet.
I would suggest the toddler first ask for a turn. The other child would say they will give the toy when they are done with their turn. That way the child knows that the other person is waiting and should give that person a turn When done.
Other option is for the child to invite the toddler to play with them.

Gabriella

8/17/2018 10:49:50 am

1) The children don't quite understand the concept of sharing and feel that the teacher took something away that actually belonged to them.
2) I would suggest to the teacher to give the toy back to the first child that was playing with it, and tell the other one to wait their turn. Toddlers understand a little better with turn taking. Entertain the toddler without the toy while they are waiting for their turn.
3) Explain to the toddler that it makes their friend sad when they take a toy away from them. Show them another toy and try to engage them and remind them that they need to wait their turn.

Jessica Bailey

8/20/2018 05:00:15 pm

I would explain to the new teacher that sharing is much more difficult for a toddler than a kindergartener and that a good solution would be to sit and work along side both children in order to come to a solution.

They might be convinced to take turns or maybe the other child could find another toy to use as a phone and they can "call" each other.

Adam

9/12/2018 11:33:22 am

The concept of sharing equal time with a toy is still miles away. for most toddlers. Redirecting one or the other often works, since the notion of "in five minutes you can have a turn" is still alien as well. "So-and-so is sad because you took her toy" sometimes works. Taking the toy away from both doesn't strike me as effective, except in the very short run tp make things easier for the teacher..

Elsa Spencer

9/17/2018 02:27:42 pm

The children are responding this way because they are still most likely developmentally unable to understand the concept of sharing. They feel like a part of them has been forcibly taken away from them and this makes them feel uneasy and unsafe. Children at this age are also still developing their social and language skills and might not yet have the words to successfully communicate with one another. Instead of telling them to share, or taking the toy when they don't I would suggest helping them through the exchange with their peers and also provide similar options or alternatives that can distract them or give them something else to do while the other child is busy with that toy. I would explain to the sub how to calmly engage with the children by showing her how I get on the childrens level, explain what sharing means, and how we can accomplish it. I would also show the sub options that she can use to distract the children from the toy with other toys that serve the same purpose or can keep them entertained while they wait for their turn.

Maria

9/28/2018 09:31:34 pm

The toddlers don’t understand about sharing yet. I’ll probably distract one with other toy or have more than one phone. Probably after explain or tell a story with puppets about sharing .

Carolyn

10/8/2018 03:39:24 pm

They do not understand the concept of sharing. Waiting would not be an option. Give one of them the toy and find a different one for the other, Tell the child as soon as she/he is done with it you can have it. Not my job to teach the sub, refer her to the head of the center.

Michael Garrigan

10/14/2018 10:55:46 am

They do not quite understand the concept of sharing at this age, so the idea of giving the toy to the other child is scary and frightening.
I would suggest next time to give the toy to the child who currently had it and redirect the child to a new toy.
I would politely explain that toddlers, or children at this age for the matter, can't be held up to such high expectations, especially with sharing via verbal cues.

Nevajane Moran

11/3/2018 07:41:30 pm

Sharing sometimes is hard on this age group because for them they tried to focus themselves instead to share to the kids. I will suggest that keep talking to them about learning to share and be nice to each other. This concept be explaining share nicely.

Patty Hurst

11/4/2018 03:28:25 pm

Why might the child(ren) act this way?
They aren't at the age where they can fully understand sharing and be expected to do that.
What would you suggest?
Have duplicates of the phone or offer taking turns.
How could this concept be explained?
Child development book to understand what is age appropriate.

Katelyn

11/17/2018 11:33:35 am

1. They may react this way because like stated they do not understand why something that they both want and is so important to them is being taken away from them and now not just not understanding why but they are hurt and not sure how to handle those emotions.
2. I would suggest trying to look at the details first. Suggest paying more attention. Maybe child 1 was playing with it first' if so you want to give the toy back explaining to each child that taking from friends hurts and its very nice. but you have lots of other toy phones that they can use. Then I would suggest to help with distraction of the new phone by saying something like " oh look heres another phone! Billy I think your momma is on the phone for you"
3. make sure explanations ae age appropriate and simple to understand

Gavin

11/25/2018 10:05:16 am

1. The toddlers are responding this way because they do not understand the concept of sharing, may see the toys as extensions of themselves, and cannot communicate their needs effectively.
2. I would suggest having multiple phones which look the same so that the children can both have a phone. I would use another phone and imitate someone on the other line before handing it to the child. Then I would suggest explaining that the toys are not just for them.
3. I would get on the toddlers level and explaining we share toys and the toys belong to the classroom. They are for everyone to use, not just for them.

Wendi Blythe

12/8/2018 05:08:24 pm

1. They act like this because they are trying to control their environment.
2. redirecting them into a different activity, or playing with them and model taking turns as one of the toddlers. Make a game out of it.
3. The other teacher needs to know the teaching moment isn't about sharing but expressing their emotions, and working on language development.

RaeAnn Harris

12/13/2018 01:27:04 pm

1. They are acting this way because they don't understand sharing yet and need to be taught visually how to do so. They also might not feel 100% comfortable with the new teacher so the kids don't know for sure how to respond to her.
2. If I was in that situation I would talk with them and try to show how to share, then I would let the kid who had it first have the phone then redirect the other kid to a new activity.
3. This concept could be explained by that the kids are trying to learn how to express themselves and use their words and how they are only thinking of them selves at this age and that they don't understand that not sharing hurts other kids.

Rosie wood

12/16/2018 09:57:02 pm

They may be upset because they don't know how to handle the situation and they just want a to play with the toy phone.
This is when I would practice what I do in my classroom, by talking about sharing I would take a turn, set the timer, and switch turns after the 2 minute timer. I have seen this really work.
I could explain this to a teacher as I did above, or I could let them know I have an idea and to watch me.

Briauna

12/26/2018 03:47:43 pm

The toddlers don't really know how to share at this age, which is why simply telling them to share nicely doesn't help. They both just want the same thing and don't understand what sharing means. I would suggest modeling it for them. Going up to the kids, and explaining that we need to take turns. Whoever had it first will get it first, and I would explain we have to wait for their turn and that we can find something else fun to play with until it's their turn for the toy. After a few minutes, I would tell the other friend that now their turn is over and that it's their friend's turn, so we have to share. I would explain to the teacher that at this age, you have to model the behavior for them so they can learn. Verbal cues alone don't work because they are still developing language skills so they don't understand everything.

jennifer

12/28/2018 11:16:29 am

explain to the new sub how important modeling behavior is...go and get the phone and model sharing/taking turns with the sub to the kids and then return it to the kids staying with them...(or hopefully the classroom has more than one phone and you can retrieve those as well)

Ava Pelky

12/30/2018 02:04:03 pm

Sharing is hard for toddlers and they really don't understand it at this age especially if they are an only child. They need to be showed.
I would talk with the kids about what sharing is. Maybe give each child a time limit on the toy. When the bell rings it's the next child's turn to play with the phone.

Adam

12/30/2018 10:32:23 pm

The sub has made the right choice for the wrong class. at 5 and 6 children are developing sharing with or without guidance, and often only need guidance to make good choices. Toddlers can't understand sharing since they don't understand others needs. It can be important for the teacher to know who has been playing with the toy, if it has been set down for a while and how many toys everyone has. If this can't alleviate the situation, you can put it away for a while but bring it out fairly soon to try working with again.

Required Assignment

Let's Talk Toddlers (5/6) Page

Toddler Scenario

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